Hall of Shame's Worst All Star Performance Ever

This is one All Star appearance that Chris Bosh wouldn’t soon forget.  It’s not because his East team lost, it was not the first and certainly not the last, but because he set (I believe it is) a record for most airballs in an All Star Game: 3, all in the first half.

Now let’s dissect the magnitude of this number.  Bosh shot 9 and made 3; of the six he missed, half did not even make it to the ring.  Two of these were jump shots, the other a running floater inside the painted area – all not under duress.

That does not happen often.  Not in the practice court where professionals like him shoot hundreds every day, not in an NBA court where most air balls happen because they are either last second shots from the half court or haplessly heaved into the ring by inept free throwers like Javale McGee and Blake Griffin, and not in an All Star Game where the NBA’s best is supposed to be on show.

Chris Bosh?  It is not supposed to happen.

I feel sorry for Bosh who owns the second most menacing scowl in the sporting world, next only to MMA’s Cheick Kongo.  But that is just my opinion.  See image below for comparison.

And as if the short arms were not enough Chris Paul, the West’s shifty and wily point guard who eventually emerged as the game’s MVP, had to embarrass Bosh some more by dribbling the ball between the big man’s legs before picking up the dribble from behind Bosh’s back.

Ouch.  That was cruel.

You know that Bosh’s confidence was shot that when he was again caught in an isolation play with another shifty point guard in the person of Frenchman Tony Parker, he did what any big-man-who-shot-three-airballs-then-cuckolded-by-a-guard-in-an-All Star-game would do: grab Parker in mid-dribble so he does not pull another Chris Paul against him -- this in a game where a dunk is regularly not contested or fouled.

I feel you Chris.

Chris Bosh does not deserve to be treated that way.  He, after all, voluntarily gave up his top dog status at Toronto to become the sidekick of the sidekick at Miami.   And in case you don’t know, Mr Bosh is in touch with his feminine side.  This he proved when he, according to reports, unabashedly cried, bawled, when his team lost the championship to the Dallas Mavericks in 2011.

So come on guys, cut him some slack.

Just when you thought that Bosh was gaining some sort of self respect by accomplishing a routine two-handed slam trust Kobe Bryant, the ultimate competitor and ego annihilator, to put the final touch to Bosh’s most forgettable game ever.  With ball in hand and attack in mind, Bryant danced and shimmied his way to a basket, leaving Bosh with a clear look at his number 24 on his jersey’s back, and a final memory of a game that would almost certainly wake him up in the middle of the night sweating, crying and looking for momma.

Bosh should thank his coach Erik Spoelstra to have the decency to pull him out of the game so that he avoids further embarrassment.  And Bosh should thank Spoelstra’s Filipina mother for teaching his son the Filipino value of not kicking somebody who is already down.  Who knows what psychological harm Bosh could have still suffered in a night where everything, save for three shots that scored, went wrong for him?

I bet Chris "Mister Sensitive" Bosh will mope and dwell on this episode.  I mean, who wouldn't?  I still cringe at the memory of a guard whom I thought was going for a fade away jumper but instead went forward and under me for a simple layup as I was flying towards the opposite direction, high but schooled.  And it was just a regular pickup game.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets post traumatic stress disorder and chucks plenty of his gazillion dollar contract to reserve regular time at some shrink’s sofa so he can sort things out.

Spoelstra is hoping that wouldn’t be the case.  But if Bosh shoots his jump shots long every time, you know he is still thinking about the air balls.