What matters most

Identifying what matters most to a person is a simple question that oddly demands a difficult to find answer; a search that entails some soul-searching that begins with the peeling off of superficial layers that cloud, hide and confuse what is truly important, and ends with the humbling truth that the answer is not as grand, ambitious or transcendent as one not comfortable with the self would like to believe has the most weight in his life.

I live a fairly uncomplicated life.  My wife and I shed many trappings of the modern world by turning our backs on the corporate world of Makati and striking out on our own as entrepreneurs in my hometown Lipa.  While there are times when paying the bills still is a struggle, I can say that I am living the life that I want where I have fully invested myself in commitments that I myself chose, and whatever success or failure that comes my way is a result of my own effort or mistake.

I have control over my life and how it is unfolding everyday with the people I choose to be with, the things that I choose to do, and the simple joys that I choose to enjoy.  And that’s important to me.

For some, finding someone who values control may be unsettling, given the selfish nature and heavy-handedness that the word invariably connotes; but to me it simply means that I have clarity over what I want and want to do. 

And what I want is to make myself a positive model and influence to people I encounter in the various social spheres that I involve myself in -- my community, the university, work, school and family.  I believe in the power of self.  When I was still teaching, my students often asked me why I was doing so when I could be easily be involved in something else.  My standard reply was that I want to change the world one student at a time.  I cannot do that if I myself cannot even rein in my life’s zigs and zags or make sense of its ups and downs.

What I want to do is to be able to make the most of my talents, take opportunities where they present themselves, and create new ones where there was once none.  This way, I become invested and, consequently, passionate in my life activities, which then become the means to how I could be a person of consequence for others.  What I do and want are cyclically entwined; one will not be possible without the other.

But what gives me ultimate joy, however, is something that I don’t need to create a grand scheme about or to go great lengths to attain because they are simple and readily available.  I am most happy when I can have quiet time alone with my wife, sharing stories, planning dreams, and simply basking in each other’s presence.  I am deeply contented when I can find the time to sit back and read a book, or to tinker with hammer, nails and wood, or mingle with my bees.  I am privileged when I can ride my bike, explore the countryside, cover new trails and meet random people in the middle of activities that matter most to them.  These are all priceless to me.

There are so many things that may matter to so many people.  I am just happy to be living my life.

This is an essay I wrote for my subject Educational Anthropology under Eufracio Abaya, PhD.