Salamat Belo: The Futile Quest for the Fountain of Youth

Growing old is inevitable.  It starts the moment you come out of your mother's womb and does not stop until you breathe your last.  So what's wrong with getting older?

Nothing.

But what's troubling for some, okay for many, is what advancing age does to the body.  The face bears more wrinkles and shows lines you never knew existed, and gravity seems to have a bigger effect on just about every part of the body that protrudes or bulges.

Oh yes, there are protrusions and bulges where there were once none.  And where there was once proud protrusions and bulges, in place now are sorry excuses -- remnants of the natural wear and tear of time, and of human use, of course.  If you see these signs in your body then you know what I mean.  And if you don't, give yourself more years and then you'll know what I mean.

But all is not lost.  Have no fear -- Belo is here.  And Calayan. And Ellen's.  And other heroes of sagging skin and everything else that sags.  This powerful group includes the expensive ones and the inexpensive wannabes, plus the illegitimate practitioners for the desperate and moneyless.

Woooo-huuuu!  Clap-clap-clap!  Hoot!  Hoot! There is almost a standing ovation if not for most in the audience already suffering from various stages of arthritis.

Belo bows, smiles, and winks.

She never stops smiling and winking for an hour.  Until you realize on the 59th minute that that's how she actually looks.  Her business needs credibility, right?  So what better way to reinforce that than to showcase herself as the product of her own services.

The result?  A woman pushing on 60 looking like a woman pushing on 60 but with a face of a 30-something permanently plastered on top of her real looks like some kind of a cruel mask.  You can just see and almost touch the botox, and the skin tighteners and the laser needles at work.  Full time.

Adore the pouty, luscious lips.  Marvel at the taut cheeks that don't seem to move.  Envy the delicately pert nose.  Admire the glowing eyes, sans the laugh lines.  Notice the wink.  Oh the flirty wink that says, "Hey there, gorgeous."  Perhaps the one that attracted Hayden Kho and other younger, nubile men reported to be hovering around Vicky's periphery.  And we're not even pointing, pardon the pun, at the ample breast that cries, WHAT!? WHAT?!

Just don't look at the neck skin as well as the folds of the hands and fingers.  They are their actual age.  You cannot inject botox in the neck area because she'll end up with a stiff neck, and in the hands because she needs them to be moveable at the joints for her work.

Now stop smiling.  And please suppress the laughter.  How would you feel if you are a woman pushing 60 and then someone giggles because you look like a plastic version of your 30s self?   My wife often reminds me that it is not polite to ask a lady her age especially when it is obvious that she is hiding it.  So stop the snickering, we have reached sensitive territory here.

But I can't help it.

I was inspired to write this because this morning, a lazy Sunday one, I chanced upon a Salamat Dok episode on TV featuring treatments that combat ageing.  And what do you know, Dr. Vicky Belo appears, which was expected, along with another lady doctor also blessed with the eternal wink and the plastered smile.

I have once experienced that numb feeling of having no or little control of my facial muscles when I was stung repeatedly by my bees, and I assure you it's a sensitive matter.  But the big difference is I did not go out in public for two days until the numbness disappeared, while these ladies have confidence to appear on TV, numbness or none.  So please, don't laugh at their face.  Literally.

I bet Dr Vicky Belo has the makings of a good poker player because she already has the poker face down pat.  Now if only she could learn how to stifle her emotions, which is the difficult part as only she, in local show business, can rival Kris Aquino in the taklesa department.

Ohh, ageing.  Why do you have to be so inevitable?

And ohh, youth.  Why can't you be naturally faked?


I'd love to hear what you think of this post.  Please leave a comment or a reaction.  Thanks!