Ambassadors of Good Wheel

I think all bikers would agree with me that, when they pull out of their house to ride their bike, they have no intentions other than to have a good time.  After all, aside from the occasional errands there's only so much you can do on a self-propelled vehicle.

Some people have short fuses but there was never a time that I was met on the road by angry people telling me to either get out of their way, out of their land, or out of their face.  If at all, drivers are extra careful overtaking a biker knowing fully well how vulnerable a biker is to even the slightest nudge.  There are plenty of bikers on the road but have you encountered news about them being in an accident or in any form of trouble?  Parang wala, ano?

Photo from Lea Latayan

Why?  Because we mean no harm.

Though we are often masked by our helmets and sunshades no one would suspect us of being up to no good, like snatching an old lady's handbag, or being a gun for hire, or worse, being a GMA henchman.  You'll fall off your bike if the old lady fights for her bag with even her weakest tug. And when you are a hired gun, you either will:

A. Hit (highly doubtful) or miss your target but fall off your bike.
It's difficult enough to drink from your water bottle on the go, let alone aim and shoot with one hand and steer the bike with another knowing that your eyes, while two, can not look at your target and the road at the same time.  That's the reason why a gun for hire must have a driver with him -- that's why the term riding in tandem was invented (I wonder if they use that term in other parts of the English speaking world).  But if people would see a biker with another person riding with him on the same bike (and we're not talking about the real tandem bikes here), either in front of him seated on the frame or behind him standing on a step knot -- they would readily know that they are up to no good.  Why?  Because  you won't see two grown people, both helmeted, cozying it up on the same bike -- bikers have too much pride for that.  And a mountain bike or a roadie with step knots?  Unheard of.


Photo from Lea Latayan

B. Be sprawled on the side of the road or run over by your intended target; in both instances, you are not able to fire your gun.
Most targets of gun for hires know that their life is in danger.  Death threats either from text, spoken word or piercing stare warn them beforehand.  In cases where the would-be victim has no inkling of what others are planning against him, they would still react the same way the "aware" would  when he sees a biker aiming a gun at him -- sideswipe him when he is on the side, or run over him in case the biker uses himself and his bike as a blockade for the intended target's vehicle.

C.  Pull over to the side of the road, crying; but, if it's any consolation, you may have succeeded in firing off your gun.
Your target noticing on his side mirror that you, on your bike, are trying desperately to keep in pace with his car, would shoot from 40kph to 100kph in no time the moment that he sees you doing a no-hander so that you can cock your gun with both hands -- leaving you with a loaded weapon but no target to shoot at.  So in frustration, you shout out loud  -- in a tone that mixes anguish and repressed sexual tension -- and fire your gun into the air, before proceeding to the side of the road, crying.

In all instances, one thing would be certain.  You will be arrested because there's only so much you can do  on a bike.

And we bikers don't have to worry about the wrath of people who would suspect us of being GMA henchmen because they know that the minions would be aboard big, heavy, tinted SUVs or flashy tinted cars with one number car plates, and not on some two-wheeled self propelled machine that gets you sweaty and messy all over.  Yuck, so un-GMA-like.  And so bikers are met with smiles, waves and the occasional invitation to drink from complete strangers (bikers, you know the feeling).  Come on, we are after all, the ambassadors of good wheel.

So I pity our bigger, faster and noisier chain-wheeled cousins, the motor bikers.  I often see them flagged down  and harassed  by police at the roadside in the remote suspicion that they are up to no good, especially when they are "riding in tandem."  But it could be worse.  At least they are not, and not going to be, suspected of being GMA henchmen.   Like us, they are sweaty and messy all over -- so un-GMA like.

POST SCRIPT
If you are a non-biker but you have read it this far -- THANK YOU!  Consider this an invitation.  Wouldn't it be nice to be a good wheel ambassador yourself sometime soon?

I value what you think of my stories. So if you may, give a feedback or leave a comment.  Thanks -- the Curious Biker