How to protect Maliputo from a thieving cat

DISCLAIMER:  The author of this article is not in any way or form an animal hater.  Any mention or insinuation of antagonistic feelings against animals, or images or actions that may be construed as cruelty to animals have been compelled by unacceptable animal behavior.   No animal has been harmed in the making of this blog.

From batanggenyo.net

Maliputo is a fresh water fish endemic to Taal Lake.  It is known for its white, firm flesh that tastes best when grilled or when mixed in sinigang.  Because its supply is limited, Maliputo is a bit expensive; and thus only served on special occasions, for special people.

Maliputo's notoriety as a fine table fish is not just local.  When my Tia Amanda, who permanently resides in the US, told a Pinoy friend there that she was coming over to Lipa for a visit, the friend who apparently has been here told her that she shouldn't miss out on the Maliputo.  I didn't know of that conversation when I thought of preparing that particular fish for her homecoming dinner.

I am the resident tour guide/cook/driver when there are guests in the house.  So the day I was to pickup my aunt at the airport, I woke up early to buy maliputo, which I planned to roast in the afternoon.

The day went on as planned; I ticked off my duties fairly well, without glitches that can ruin the schedule, or my aunt's homecoming -- that is, until later in the day when I was about to take the maliputo off the grill and onto the dining table.  To my horror, the fish was not on the grill but on the ground, with the darn cat that adopted our house as her own, on top of it - relishing the crisp skin and tender but juicy flesh of the maliputo that I lovingly prepared for my Tia Amanda.   I let out a muffled curse as the cat deftly eluded my swinging foot (I assure animal lovers that it was just to shoo the darn cat away and to let off some steam as well), leaving behind the mangled remains of what should have been the highlight of the dinner table.
Apparently, the darn cat also knew how special maliputo was because I've grilled many fish before, tilapia, bangus and pusit, among others, plus liempo and all cuts of meat, but never had that darn cat try to steal even a piece - not until this.

From zeal4adventure.com

I had no power to tell my aunt that the darn cat got her fish, but I had time to hurriedly motor to town to buy whatever roasted fish was available.  Inihaw na bangus was the best that I could do

Dinner time came and my Tia Amanda commented that the maliputo is no different from bangus.  So I had to let the cat, that darn cat, out of the bag, so to speak.  She said it was okay, at least the cat had her full.  We also had ours, minus the maliputo. And I vowed that, given the chance, I wouldn't let such thievery happen again.

I know men are on top of the food chain.  But it doesn't mean that we are going to devour every living thing that crosses our path, or wrongs us.  I had an ongoing issue with a neighbor's dog  (See my story about my quarrel with a dog), and now - a cat that adopted our house.  Darn animals just wouldn't leave me alone.  I'm just thankful that I can still think rationally, otherwise you would hear on the news about a tall man having a dogfight, literally, with a muscular but squat dog, or skinning a maliputo-stealing darn cat.  Thank God, for human intellect.

I got my chance to redeem myself a week after my aunt came back to Lipa from a whirlwind trip that took her from her hometown in Pangasinan, to various places in the north and in Metro Manila.  This time I was prepared to protect my grill.  And my pride.

The grill and the darn cat

My grill is about 3 feet high, with about a foot by two feet grilling area.  But I would only use a portion, just enough for the headless and tailless (the cut parts used for sinigang) fish, leaving enough room - if left unprotected -  for the darn cat to quickly spring on top of the grill and with cat-quick reflexes, swipe at the fish so it falls on the ground, ready to be ravaged.

Being an intelligent human, I decided to think like a cat.  Prrrr.... meoooww... what would prrrevent me frrrom getting that tasty maliputo on top of that grrrrrill? Surrrrely, that darrrrrn tall human can't keep watch overrrrr it the whole time it cooks.  Hhhhhmmmm..... prrrrr..... meoooww... oh no..... prrrrrr....meeooww... I hope he does not put a barrrricade on top of the fish  orrrrr else I won't be able to rrrreach it.   Prrrr....meeooww.

No darn cat paws allowed!

Chi-ching! A light bulb illuminates my  brain and brings a smile to my lips. I quickly gathered branches and twigs from the garden and assembled my version of a dome over the cooking maliputo.  This would serve as a barrier from the cat's prying paws in case it attempts to mount the grill and takes a quick swipe.

At least the darn cat tried

My plan worked perfectly.  And I had the darn cat drooling at the slowly roasting maliputo, with no chance at getting an easy feast.  My Tia Amanda finally got to taste maliputo.  And she concluded, it does not taste or look like bangus.

I regained my smile.  My pride included.  And I was able to put that darn cat in her proper place -- eating leftover and tinik.  I hope she learned her lesson not to mess with the Curious Biker.

Search the image for one frustrated darn cat